Your Money Uncle

No matter how evolutionary we may feel it is hard to look upon ourselves in simian terms. For the good of humanity it may be time to soberly consider our monkiness. So let us have a conversation with your monkey Uncle and see where we are.

Chimps are said to be our closest relatives in the simian world. But even in the world of small upright apes there are strong divisions, the most striking of which are the differences between the tribes of Chimpanzees in central Africa and their cousin tribes of Bonabo apes.

Chimps are more human and handsome than the Bonabos. Bonabos are darker and have elongated faces that give them a distinct monkey look. The tribes of chimpanzees are male dominated. They engage in territorial disputes and will readily war with neighbor groups. The dominant males are very protective of the genetic disposition of the tribe. If a pregnant female joins the tribe or exhibits pregnancy soon after coming on board her baby will be killed by the alpha males to insure tribal identity and genetic purity.

Bonabo's on the other hand are a matriarchal society; conflicts and differences are solved with social/sexual contact rather than violent confrontations. Both tribes engage in extensive grooming, share food and collectively watch over the young. Alpha chimps spend most of their time keeping the sub adult and beta males in line and watching over their harems of female mates making sure they are not diddling the competition. The ever-present threat of violence from dominant males is the main cohesive element of the group. Alpha chimps are capable of making alliances and leading raiding parties. Cannibalism is practiced on enemy dead and murdered infants.

The non-confrontational Bonobos have more time for community involvement; food gathering, nest making, vigilance, parenting and the propagation of good will. Both tribes succeed on their own merits it is irrelevant and harmful to ascribe human qualities, emotions, juxtapositions or comparison to the scientific observation of apes. Jane Goodall, Diane Fossey and the Leakey's to some extent made this unfortunate leap much to the detriment of their life long studies.

Let it suffice to say that there are two very different kinds of Chimp-like apes in the animal kingdom. The tribal dynamics that make them surviving and successful are engrained and long standing; animal behaviors are not recently learned or easily altered. Perhaps human animals have also evolved along similar divergent paths, as have the Chimpanzees and Bonabo apes.

This premise would certainly explain George W. Bush, nuclear families and a host of long standing domineering societal tendencies. The Chimps are running the show. Free love, feminism and a pacific way of life are not presently much in favor or recognized as an engrained alternative. Some of us have experimented with alternative life choices, migrated back and forth, picking and choosing the most attractive and seemingly beneficial mores.

Within the human madness of things any distinct monkiness has probably been blurred by intermarriage, clan commingling and long-standing acceptance of the patriarchal norm. Numbers of us feel the pulse toward mother, sexual variation and the cooperative tribe. Possibly this dynamic is best expressed theologically rather than politically. The chimps have been in the rule for so long no one can remember a better way. Those of us whom have experimented are made to feel foolish and wrong. Those of us who know no better are left wondering at a failing system and are at a loss for an alternate.