Your Relationship with a Married Man
The very first thing you must do, if you find yourself in this situation, is to analyze your own feelings. Why do you want to go out with this man? Do you believe that you can achieve the happiness you are seeking out of a relationship with a married man? That question is almost rhetorical, since if the answer were yes, then you would not be seeking advice to begin with.
Most women tend to think an experienced man would know how to handle her, or the relationship, better. This is the key to the problem of dating married men. If a married man knew how to handle a woman, and the relationship, would not his own marriage be happy? Often, a married man seeking a woman will comment that they are not happy in the marriage. To put it bluntly, happiness is what you make it. If that man put forth the effort into his marriage that he is putting into finding a new woman, things might be different.
Simply, if that man knew how to handle his relationship, why would he have a problem with his wife? Dating a married man is no good for you, his wife, or his children unless he is willing to get divorced and commit to a relationship seriously. Well, hopefully serious this time. That is another good point. What makes you so sure he is serious this time?
By saying the kind of things you want to hear, they trap your imagination and make you a product to satisfy their lust. Think about this. If honesty in a relationship is important to you, then how could you be dating a married man? While he is dating you, everyday he must lie and deceive his wife. At what point would you begin wondering if he is lying to you? Before you comment that he would not, think about it.
One thing that is common in extra-marital relationships is the married man sets all the rules for the relationship. Are you willing to lose your individuality and personal freedom for someone that may not be able to be there when you need them? If you have been in a relationship with a married man while he's had a birthday. Where was he? Did he spend his birthday with you, or his family? Where were you while he was with his family? Were you waiting for him to call? The reality is you will never have personal freedom. He will set all the rules and let you know when you can call or see him. In the meantime, you will wait as the world, and honest men, pass you by.
If two of the top criteria for finding a partner are honesty and reliability, then how does a married man fit into the picture? Love should never include dishonesty. If your partner is in a relationship and has to lie or sneak away to be with you, then love does not truly exist. Reevaluate your feelings for him. Does he fill a need that can be filled by friendship? If so, keep it that way. If the relationship is purely sexual, then how do you expect to survive in a full relationship? Remember, while you are sitting at home crying in depression, there is a single, honest, and reliable man that is wondering when he will find a woman like you.
Published by Greg Wendland
Born in Michigan, Greg has lived in several states and abroad. He is a self-proclaimed 'Student of Human Nature'. He enjoys working as a Freelance Writer as well as owning and operating a computer repair bu... View profile
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21 Comments
Post a CommentiSometimes it happens because of issues like you are not having someone to support you ,than you get this married man and he treats you nice , but he is married , those issues the are the one sometimes forces man you girls to fall in a relationship because you have no one to care for you even his with the wife he will have time for you ,so other people the a in a relationship because of life .
Im in a situation, where im dating a married man. Just dating. His relationship is not going well at all, both parties are cheating on one another, just stick around for the children, and preparing to get out. On the other hand im still single with kids of my own, so why should i stay???
Part of the problem is the "She/he is just a good friend." Shirley Glass says otherwise in a book she wrote on the subject. I've also written articles on how and why men and women cannot be just good friends - it is not possible nor safe nor healthy. I've no friends outside of my husband and have no "problem" admitting it, either.
I have been having an affair with a married man for over 3 years now, he is someone I have been knowing for over 20 years and he has always wanted me, but I never could go there with him because of the moral aspect, but after being married twice and having a few lovers afterwards, he has been the best man I have known, I feel it is successful because as much as I care about him and he about me, we are really just enjoying eachother, I am not trying to come between him and his wife, in fact I tell him what things to do to keep her happy. We have been friends and really enjoy eachother, it's not the craziness that most people expect from these types of relationships,again been married twice had lots of boyfriends and they all do the same thing I have not seen a man who does not, starting with my father, so world open your eyes, don't be fooled these things happen wheather its in the books or not, it just depends on how you handle it, u have to understand what you are doing and why, if yo
fallin inlove in married man its very difficult....its a waste of time...and never work..it cause of pain & guilt in yourself...
that's the reason of the heart, that the mind cannot understand....i fall in love with a married man....never planned, never intend...just happened....i don't know how, i don't know why...its really hard...but i really do love him...
having affair to a married man is really killing me,,im 29 yrs old and he's 40.I do love him,but its hard to accept that even single minute,he cant even spend on me.
Glad to know that I'm not the only one in a relationship with a married man and miserable. As much as I love him, I'm getting out...let him go and give the attention he gives me, to his wife. I hate having to find a date for a party, or sitting alone while he's out with her. WE all diserve more, we just have to know when enough is enough.
being in love with a married man is the worst that could happen.i live with him but the wife is a paib in the butt....i mea is like watever she says he has to do,she kiss him infront of me and it just hurts really bad inside....but i reaLLY LOVE HIM AND IS HARD TO LEAVE AND CONTINUE WITH MY LIFE...it's like he has become more than my half...and i give my life for him,,,,,hopefully one day we be together forever
dating a married man is nice simply because there the I love you physically. I care for you as friend. You go to your wife and I go to my husband! We enjoy for a few hours moments of passion and care for each other but there is no danger of either one trying to break up the others home!