Your Wedding Day is Set - Now How to Enjoy It

The question's been popped, the date is set, everything's been ordered and yet you're sure the reason why your stomach is churning is more than just a last-minute case of cold feet. Getting married is a big deal! And right along with it comes the stress of planning one of the biggest celebrations of your life. Everyone has an opinion about how to choose the right dress, when to take your wedding photos, and where you should go on your honeymoon. The advice you may not hear as often gives you tips about how to actually de-stress and enjoy not only the wedding planning but the wedding day! After all, the wedding is the biggest celebration you'll throw for yourself - you might as well enjoy it!

In searching for tips about how to minimize stress, relax, and be joyful, I came upon these five tips that could help you get more out of your wedding day than pictures you may laugh at 20 years from now!

Always remember that you love each other

It is easy to get caught up in the middle of wedding plans, deciding on which songs should play as your mothers enter the church or deciding if you really need to invite your cousin's wife's mother's best friend. It's also easy to get caught up in trying to figure out what will happen before and after the wedding. Where will you live? Do you want to buy a house or rent an apartment? What should you do with the extra futon? With so much stress and trying to meet everyone's expectations for a perfect day, there are bound to be disagreements or disappointments. So, how do you keep from asking yourself, "Why am I getting married?" after a string of heated discussions?

By remembering that you love each other, even in the middle of an argument! A friend of mine said their pastor suggested during pre-marital counseling that even during arguments, try to find some way to touch each other - back to back, toe-to-toe, pinky hooked around a pinky. It's hard to be screaming at someone whom you're physically touching. And the physical touch serves as a reminder of the person you love and cherish, in spite of the disagreement at hand. "My husband and I used this religiously as we planned our wedding and then at the start of our marriage. It made a great difference in the way we communicated and compromised," she said.

Additionally, when you reconcile your differences and come to an agreement, give each other a kiss. Our pastor suggested that during pre-marital counseling. He had told us that marriage and taking our vows were more than just promises; they were covenants. God had sealed his covenants and so should we. What better way to do so than with a kiss? Plus, it was a good excuse to practice for that picture-perfect kiss after the pastor pronounces you husband and wife. And it is also a good way to remember how much you love the other person with this show of affection.

Take time to be you

According to an article posted on weddingbeauty.com.au, take time out from the wedding planning and do something together as a couple. Go to dinner and a movie. Take a weekend trip. Sometimes planning out all the details of a wedding can be stressful and lead to disagreements over whether you should have bubbles or birdseed. The reason you are having a wedding is not for the fancy plates and glasses of champagne. It's about continuing a special and meaningful relationship with someone you love. Sometimes you need a break from the constant wedding plan details and remember why you are getting married.

Remembering my own wedding planning activities, my fiance (now husband) and I followed this advice. I was getting tired of always doing wedding activities when I saw my fiance. I missed our dates and had wondered what we would do once the wedding was over. I wanted some assurances that we would still enjoy each other's company once the hoopla of the wedding had died down, we were married, and home in our townhouse wondering what was next for our lives.

Take time to reflect

Once the wedding day is here and begins, you may find it hard to remember exactly what happened, who said what, or what you even ate, if at all! The day may go by in a blur. One of my friends said that the best advice she got was to stop every half hour or so and just take in all that was going on. "I can remember almost every detail about [my wedding day] because of that advice," she said. Similarly, someone had told my husband to take time to go be by himself before the wedding ceremony and pre-wedding pictures began and think about what the wedding day means. The point is to make sure you take time to appreciate the journey you are about to take with the person you love and don't wind up at the end of the day going, "what happened?" My husband did find a quiet spot in the church to go meditate and reflect about what it meant to be getting married on our wedding day. He said that he then felt like he was better prepared for the day and all the stresses that came with it.

Eat

According to an article written by Candy Friedman of The Younique Boutique, Inc., you should make sure you eat something, even if it's merely for the sake of not fainting in front of your family and friends! I would say you want to be sure that if you don't eat before the wedding because of nerves, make sure you eat afterwards. My husband and I went from greeting each guest as they filed out of the church sanctuary to being rushed through finishing pictures, then ushered in to our reception where we immediately were occupied with wedding day festivities (like cutting the cake) and socializing with our many guests. Between the two of us, we may have had one small plate of appetizers! Luckily my husband had booked dinner reservations for as soon as we got to our honeymoon destination.

Our cousin, actually had a smart idea. He and his bride planned for a private meal for the wedding party and immediate family (like parents) prior to when other guests arrived for the catered reception. This allowed them to eat and then enjoy the rest of the night, mingling with guests and not worrying if everyone could hear their stomachs growl.

Remember what's important

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are married to the one you love. As long as the vows have been said and the marriage certificate has been witnessed and signed, that is really all that matters. While it may be upsetting or disappointing that, say, your bakery forgot the cake topper, is that really what you want to remember from your wedding day 50 years later?

So go ahead and plan one of the biggest celebrations of one of the most important events of your life. Just remember to take a deep breath and enjoy!