Your Wife or Girlfriend Gets Pregnant by Another Man: What to Do
Your wife or girlfriend may have gotten pregnant while having an affair. There is also the instance of a married couple becoming involved with other people during a separation. Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies can result from this.
Do you stay or go? If you're faced with the dilemma of a cheating wife or girlfriend, you have probably already deliberating if you two are going to work the relationship out. Or if you're already separated, there may be discussions of reuniting. Marriage or couples counseling would be good to consider as you move on.
First you'll have to determine if you want to salvage the relationship with your woman. If there are a lot of good things in your relationship despite this major issue, consider working it out. Don't be lukewarm in the matter though. Make a full commitment to working things out and stick with it. If your wife or girlfriend wants you to forgive her for cheating, don't hold her mistake over her head. It's not healthy for her, you, the baby or the relationship.
Respect the father's rights. If the man that got your wife or girlfriend pregnant wants to be a part of the child's life, you'll have to toughen up and respect his right to raise his child. The male ego may make this difficult, but if you've made a commitment to work things out and trust your woman going forward, you'll have to trust that she and the father of her child will have a platonic relationship as they raise their child. Agree to boundaries such as how and when the two parents will communicate. Late night calls that are non-emergency, for example, aren't acceptable.
Help raise the child and treat him or her with respect. Whether or not your wife or girlfriend has custody of the child, you will be seen as an influential male figure in the child's life, and perhaps even a father figure. If the father is in the picture, you do not have to replace him, but as the husband or boyfriend of the mother, you will have an impact on the child's life. Treat the child with respect. If you already have children with the mother, the child's sibling(s), treat the child just as you would your own.
It will be a hard adjustment, but you can overcome this bump in your marriage or relationship by sticking to your commitment.
Published by Candice W.
Candice W. is a writer from Michigan. Her interests are writing, entrepreneurship, real estate, watching movies, trying new foods and bargain shopping. She also goes by the name MrsWrite. View profile
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33 Comments
Post a CommentIf it was reversed, and a husband told his wife the same story of adultery the ladies on this site would have a whole different answer. If a husband told his wife that he had impregnated another woman and she was going to have the child and he was going to act as the father while maintaining his marriage to his wife she would flip. I have known several women that have cheated on their husbands. They wanted to know what I would do if I was their husband. I asked them what would they do if I told them their husband was cheating on them. They all said they'd get a divorce! I asked them if they couldn't forgive him. They all said absolutely not, even in light of their own cheating. Then I answered their question: you are a selfish person who is a terrible life partner in a marriage. Your act of adultery is proof of that. Adultery is NOT just a mistake. It is a deal breaker. It is the outward manifestation of the total lack of respect that one person has for another.
Sounds like the writer of the article wants the unfaithful woman not to pay amy consequences for her action and for the man to do all the suffering
(Final Comment)
And lastly, if in this case the male (or if it happen to a female) found out that there was an affair, and as a result of that affair, he or she ended up with an STD. The one whom had the affair is looking at being charged with a criminal offense for either criminal negligence, recklessness & disregard for safety, or an act of sexual assault in some states/areas. 'sexual assault' being having un-consented sex. Whereas that consent is broken when the person who has cheated gave her/his other an STD, and where the other thinks he/she is having safe sexual contact with his/her partner.
Not informing your partner of any risks that could be imposed during sexual intercourse can lead you behind bars, this include secretly having an affair and exposing your boyfriend/girlfriend to an STD. You can also be taken to CIVIL COURT, and sued for damages for the reckless act.
I would like to ask this publisher, suppose her and I were in a relationship, and I came to her and told her I got another girl pregnant. We get back together after a brief break up, and now I tell her I want the other woman to come over and visit and be apart of our lives because I had a child with her, and then there is an issue where the other woman and I are talking for hours and I tell you we can because we have a child.
What would you say..
Many woman would say hell no, and leave him.. because many woman know woman, and by that being, she will take him again or make my life a living hell. Vice versa, men know men, and we know the other man will attempt to have an affair with my woman again.
The publishers answer seem to be genuinely to be her best answer, but I'm sorry to say the publisher may be thinking only with a womans brain and not reality. Many woman seem to have this double standard of what men should do, but woman don't have to. That is why most relationships fail.
I think there is a bias to this answer, mainly because a female published it. Instead of accepting the new child (assuming she is still pregnant), I would ask if she would consider abortion, and then for her to consider the fact that by having this child, and the father in 'our' lives, it may make things very difficult. (Good men want a happy life, with a happy wife).
I certainly wouldn't want this to be held over my head that she had a kid with another man and he is going to be around now.
My best advice coming from a man, would be to end the relationship if she keeps the child, she made her bed, let her lay in it and move on. You will most likely find a woman who doesn't have this issue and you two can be happy in your relationship with the absents of another man trying to see his kid.
Any man who would take his wife or girlfriend back after she was bouncing up and down on another man's root is either a sorry #$%$ a glutton for punishment or both! Only a woman would suggest that a man take back a woman who cheated on him. Hell, even most women would think that's CRAZY!!!
Miriam sounds like she's out of he God damned mind!
You motherfuckas are SICK!!! What self-respecting man would take back his wife or girlfriend after she's not only had her legs wrapped around another man, but got pregnant too??? That's called being a CUCKOLD -- not cool! Is this whole world going WHACKO or what???
if you want to stay with her and also get your revenge. make her get an abortion.
never raise another man's child.
Absolutely. Everybody makes silly mistakes from time to time. You will see many comments from immature guys saying that women should be dumped in these circumstances. But she is fallible, just like you. Forgive her. Be compassionate towards her. Be kind and caring. These are the qualities women look for in a man - they are the qualities of a real man. Behaving in an angry jealous way will simply leave broken hearts. Don't be that frustrated bitter chump. Let your healing begin with her now. Love the child as yours. Be a real man and a real father and a real partner to her. If she is willing, let your name be on the birth certificate as the father, no one need ever know.
Best wishes,
Miriam.