Zac's Backs, Halloween Edition: Week 9 NFL Picks

Welcome back to the scariest NFL picks on Associated Content. This is the week 9 edition of Zac's Backs. Week 8 of the NFL proved to be a very "meh" week for yours truly, as I went 8-4. More importantly, though, is the fact that both my Giants and my Browns are above .500. Thanks to those two teams I may be able to forget about the 2007 Major League Baseball season soon enough!

I'm all out of candy, kids, so instead I'll be passing out NFL picks today. Wow, it's way too early for me to try to be clever. Let's just get to the games.

San Francisco at Atlanta

Talk about scary. Maybe for Halloween this year one of these teams will actually dress up as a real live NFL team. Even after the injury bug hit San Fran I believed that the 49ers had a shot to be competitive. Boy was I wrong. Meanwhile, Atlanta is just about where everybody believed them to be. Could this be Zac's Backs Ugliest Game of the Week? Let's put it this way. No game will be worse.

Winner: San Francisco

Cincinnati at Buffalo

Fact or fiction: When Chad Johnson jumped into the Dawg Pound he unknowingly entered into some parallel universe where he has since switched places with Braylon Edwards. Your call, readers. Go with Buffalo in this one due to the disgustingly bad defense Cincinnati has. It also doesn't hurt that they've already thrown in the towel on this NFL season. Any questions about that were answered by the "conservative" play calling that dominated last week's game against the Steelers.

Winner: Buffalo

Denver at Detroit

I was on the phone with my buddy during the final minutes of the Monday night game and we both had the same question. What the hell was Cutler doing trying to sneak the ball on third down and Denver out of timeouts? Take a freakin' shot at the end zone, kid. At the very least you could throw the ball away and stop the clock. Maybe the worst play call of the year right there, folks.

I made the mistake of picking against the Lions last week. Look, the Lions aren't pretty by any stretch of the imagination. We as football fans, though, need them to keep winning. When's the last time that you actually cared about the Detroit Thanksgiving Day game?

Winner: Detroit

Carolina at Tennessee

I'm going to take this time to admit that the Carolina Panthers will have me scratching my head for the rest of the season. After watching them drive down Indy's throat in the first quarter last week I was thinking that my prediction of a close game was going to be spot on. Instead, the Panthers scored and then decided that they were only going to play one quarter of football in week 8. I've been the one going on about how much the Colts are disrespected but Carolina made them look even better than what I've been saying.

That may be the worst sentence I've ever written.

Meanwhile, has there been a worse 5-2 NFL team in recent memory than Tennessee? When it's all said and done this could be the ugliest game of the week. This game, though, is the best example of just how mediocre the 2007 NFL season truly is outside of New England and Indianapolis.

Winner: Tennessee

Green Bay at Kansas City

Dear Green Bay,

For the second time this season I'd like to apologize for doubting both you as a team and Brett Favre. Brett, you're allowed to play until you're 45. Go ahead.

The last time I did something like this Green Bay decided to show me up by playing their worst game of the year. Yeah, the Packers still can't run the ball but it's ok for this contest. Remember what I said about the 2007 NFL season being full of mediocrity? The Kansas City Chiefs are 4-3. Wow.

Winner: Green Bay

San Diego at Minnesota

You can officially close the book on Minnesota (sorry, Scotty). San Diego is the best 4-3 team in the NFL right now which isn't saying a whole hell of a lot.

Winner: San Diego

Jacksonville at New Orleans

Jacksonville is the AFC equivalent of the Carolina Panthers. You have no way of knowing what team is going to come out onto the field. They are undefeated on the road so far (3-0) but the Saints looked good last week. Then again, the Saints were playing San Francisco. The Jags lucked out last week (yeah, I said it). I just don't think they're going to do it again against the Saints. This one is going to come back to haunt me but;

Winner: New Orleans

Washington at New York J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets

For my life I'll never understand why the ManGenius stuck with Chad for so long. You're 1-7. What are you waiting for? Here's another question for all of you. Are the Redskins the second worst 4-3 team in football? If you're looking for an upset here's a place to start. Washington has only won one game on the road this entire season.

Winner: J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets

Arizona at Tampa Bay

Yuck. I never really look at the entire schedule until I do these picks. Has there been a worse week of NFL action in recent memory than this one? Two more "going nowhere" teams face off here. Tampa's defense will be way too much for Arizona's offense and the Bucs will win at home.

Winner: Tampa Bay

Seattle at Cleveland

Two more "bleh" 4-3 teams. I love the Browns but even I can admit that any other season they would be a 2-5 team at best due to their pitiful defense. Anderson has been good this season but if you watched any highlights of the game against the Rams you saw why. He's just throwing the ball towards Edwards and K2 and seeing what happens. The only difference between this year and last is that the receivers are actually making plays. Braylon's catch near the sideline was one of the best catches I've seen this season in the NFL.

Here's the skinny on this game. Whatever the over-under is in this game, go with the over. This game won't be pretty defensively but it should be lots of fun to watch. I think Cleveland is going to win this shootout, setting up quite the interesting match-up against the Steelers next week.

New England at Indianapolis

Here we go. The most hyped NFL regular season game in almost two decades is finally here. Want to know my feelings on the game? Go here. And here. And here. All I'm saying in this piece is that I'm going against the experts. I like the champs.

Winner: Indianapolis

Houston at Oakland

Just when this week couldn't get any more pathetic the NFL gives us Houston at Oakland. Ugliest game of the week? Screw it. Week 9 is officially Zac's Backs Ugliest NFL Week of the Year.

Oakland has only won one game at home all season and it was the "field goal game" against the Browns. A weak Houston team is headed to Oakland this week and I think that it's up the fans in the Black Hole to bring victory to the Raiders. As much as I make fun of Oakland (easy jokes, let's be honest) there is no way that the Raiders are not going to win another game at home this season. This game and next week's at home against the Bears is the easiest back-to-back stretch remaining for the Raiders. If they're going to win any games at home it's going to be at least one of these two.

Winner: Oakland

Dallas at Philadelphia

Fact or fiction II: The Eagles would be 1-6 in any other NFL season.

Winner: Dallas

Baltimore at Pittsburgh

I think this game will be determined by what happens in Cleveland. If the Browns win I think Pittsburgh will be looking ahead to their first-place showdown with Cleveland on November 11. Meanwhile, I can't help but to ask: Is Baltimore the third worst 4-3 team in the NFL this year?

I'd love to believe that Baltimore could win this game and that, if Cleveland wins, I'll be able to say the Browns are at least tied for first place. I just don't see Pittsburgh losing another prime time game, especially when they're playing at home.

Winner: Pittsburgh

That's going to be all for me this week. As always you've been great. Stay tuned for Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Still the scariest movie I've ever seen.

If you're driving tonight remember to be on the lookout for little ghouls and goblins. Let's keep our kids safe. Happy Halloween.

Zac's NFL week 8 picks: 8-4

Zac's overall record: 78-37