Zombie World

Someone was knocking at the door. These days that is considered strange since the Zombies have taken over. Those of us who live inside this abandoned silo knew all the ways to get in or out and visitors are seldom welcomed with open arms. Most of them tended to not have any or at best, only one or part of one.

Welcome to Zombie World. Yes, my world consists of Zombies. You know exactly what I'm talking about. They are those "ugly, half rotted, limbless, mentally deficient, and typically dead remains of human beings" that shuffle around and want to eat your brains. They are also able to effectively ignore you, have selective memory, contrary as a Missouri mule, and nowhere near as good looking as I am.

There are virtually thousands of Zombie Armies. In fact, there are so few "Normals" left that most of us have banded together to keep ourselves safe from attacks which mostly consist of being eaten alive. Never a good way to go. Some of us heard stories early on that there are pockets of Normals out in the Ohio Valley and near Pittsburgh, yet I figure that's a myth. If there were any Normals out there, I would have seen proof by now. Hell, I would have moved out and joined them!

In the beginning, the change in the population from "Normals" to Zombies was gradual. So gradual that no one noticed at first that anything strange was going on. After all, when your spouse or significant other is a couch potato, how can you tell the difference? Really? All they do is sit and stare at a TV (if it is even on), eat whatever is put in front of them, and generally exhibit little or no intelligence. It's hard to know, I tell ya!

It all started when some fanatical folks started testing bombs, chemicals, and various diseases on their own people or those who lived nearby. I once heard that there was so much poisonous gas and other vapors in the atmosphere that space satellites sent back photos that looked like the planet was already as dead as some of our neighbors, like Mars. I wonder if Martian Zombies happened to them?

The effects were both immediate (instant death) and gradual as the people began to mutate into something else. No one really paid much attention and just thought the great influx of those who were now wandering around the cities and propped up in doorways were just more of the homeless. I mean - let's face it. No one really saw the homeless and most people pretended they were not really there.

The politicians just ignored the scattered complaints that came in about the "walking dead". The thing is they wouldn't have known what a zombie was until Senator James T. Hornbaugher kissed a baby during a photo shoot and the baby literally began munching on his fingers. I can tell you right now that put an immediate damper on things.

Unfortunately, that's exactly how the Zombie Wars began. When the senators and other representatives finally realized that their constituents didn't normally begin snacking on wayward digits as a mid-day meal, they called in the military. You have to give them an "A" for effort though. Once they realized that this problem was going to negatively impact them come voting time, they got busy in a hurry. Of course, first they had committees and town hall meetings and that took time. Then they argued about who was in charge of zombie removal!

In fact, I am convinced that the only reason anything was attempted to get rid of the Zombies was someone realized that only Normals could vote and Zombies were anything but normal. Otherwise, I seriously doubt any effort would have been initiated to combat the Zombies in the first place.

Strange, but there are some signs that "Normals" and "Zombies" alike are starting to adjust to each other. Why the other day, I saw a woman who appeared to be normal leading a Zombie on a leash! She was screaming at the Zombie who stumbled along behind her. The Zombie was a male and I can only assume he used to be her husband. Now, he was just a fragment of his former self, with a missing arm and a missing foot and it seemed that both his ears were gone. If he could think, he would be congratulating himself on not being able to hear her caterwauling at him.

Anyway, I now spend most of my days transmitting this data out into space. Maybe someone will show up with a cure - or maybe it would be better if they just blasted these wretched Zombies clean out of the universe.