Zsa Zsa Gabor on the Ponderosa: Bonanza Roles

Strange as it may seem, fiery Hungarian actress, Zsa Zsa Gabor, was a guest star on the TV Western "Bonanza" in 1967. Ms. Gabor's latest husband, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt is in the news these days more than she is, but that is because the 93 year old actress is confined to a wheelchair and partially paralyzed.

A little over two decades ago, the feisty femme fatale decked a Beverly Hills police officer. He allegedly rudely insulted Zsa Zsa and used obscenities. Zsa Zsa was 72 at the time. She was convicted on an assault charge and spent 72 hours in jail. An hour for each year of her tempestuous life? I don't know, however, I always believed Zsa Zsa's insistence that the officer provoked her. She was well known for walking off sets in a rage and retaliating against people who pushed her too far back in the day, but Ms. Gabor had a great sense of humor. She laughed at herself right along with the best of them. When it turned mean and became disrespectful, she threw down the glove, as they say, and was not shy about showing her displeasure. The cop-slapping incident was lampooned by Zsa Zsa in "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (1991) and on an episode of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" the same year.

Zsa Zsa is famous for calling everyone "dahling" in that sexy voice of hers. She once said: "I don't remember anybody's name. How do you think the "dahling" thing got started?" I thought it was so she wouldn't make a mistake and call her current husband by the former one's name. The number of husbands she racked up is always a feature of any Zsa Zsa Gabor conversation. One of her husbands, George Sanders, also married her sister, Magda. While she was married to George, Zsa Zsa carried on a notorious affair with playboy, Porfirio Rubirosa, who was married to heiress, Barbara Hutton. Once asked how many husbands she had, Zsa Zsa said: "You mean other than my own?"

Zsa Zsa appeared in several notable films of the 1950s. She played the role of Jane Avril in the original Moulin Rouge (1952) with Jose Ferrer as French artist, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec. She sings the song "It's April Again." I became a fan of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Toulouse-Lautrec after seeing this movie on TV. Nicole Kidman played Zsa Zsa's role in the remake.

In 1953, she worked in the film "Lili," starring Mel Ferrer and Leslie Caron. Interestingly, Miss Kitty (Amanda Blake) of "Gunsmoke" was also in this movie.

No matter the role, Zsa Zsa was always Zsa Zsa, long before Paris Hilton became famous for just being herself. Zsa Zsa's second husband was Conrad Hilton, Paris Hilton's great-grandfather and founder of the Hilton Hotel empire. Zsa Zsa's only child, Constance Francesca Hilton is Paris Hilton's great-aunt.

But enough background info already -- on to the Ponderosa with Zsa Zsa. She appeared in the 1967 episode, "Maestro Hoss," wreaking havoc in a humorous way that involved no shoot-outs or cattle rustlers. As "the world's greatest" gypsy fortune-teller, Madame Marova, she enlists the help of Hoss Cartwright to fix a broken wagon wheel. Ever the conniving vixen, she flatters him on his great strength while checking out what's in his wallet where she finds $178.50.

When Hoss inquires into her ability to predict the future, she tells him: "To me, the future is as clear as the day." So Hoss asks her to take a peek into his future. Madame Marova is flabbergasted by the talent she "discovers" in his palm. She tells Hoss she has only seen this marvel one other time in her life and the other guy was a musical genius. She just happens to have that musical genius's Stradivarius handy because on his death bed, the maestro told her to give it to someone whose musical genius was a great as his. Madame Marova gives Hoss the violin and says "... the whole world will know that the world's greatest violin virtuoso is Maestro Hoss."

The big, naive cowboy buys it hook, line and sinker and wishes there was something he could do for her. Madame Marova claims she had to borrow money against the violin when she was broke. Guess how much? Although she demurs, Hoss insists she take the $178.50 he has on him. Don't you just love the cons when the victim begs to be fleeced? As she sticks the money in her bosom, she purrs: "Mr. Hoss, when you are a great man and the whole world is at your feet, remember Madame Marova." "Yes'm," Hoss replies.

Hoss takes the violin back home and proceeds to torture all and sundry with his "great musical talent." His family cannot convince him that he is not a musical genius, so Pa Cartwright enlists the aid of piano teacher, Miss Dorothy Hibbs, played by prolific character actress, Kathleen Freeman. She is supposed to let Hoss down gently, Ben gets his first hint that she's not going to be much help when she sees "big and handsome" Hoss and sighs, "I do admire big men." The next time we see Zsa Zsa, she is in the Virginia City jail and Ben gets her released. His plan is to pay Madame Marova $200 to get Hoss to stop playing that Stradivarius, but even more hilarity follows.

People often mixed Zsa Zsa up with her sister Eva. Indeed, even the synopsis of "Maestro Hoss" on IMDB claims it was Eva in this episode. While Eva Gabor never set foot on the Ponderosa, she was the star of another popular sitcom, " Green Acres." Zsa Zsa also appeared in 60's TV staples "The Beverly Hillbillies," "Gilligan's Island" and "Batman."

Zsa Zsa Gabor has suffered from many medical problems since 2002, when she was injured in an automobile accident in a car driven by her hairstylist, Jaren Millard. She suffered with partial paralysis and was confined to a wheelchair. In July of 2005, she had a massive stroke and in 2007, at age 90, she required surgery for a leg infection caused by her immobility. She lives with her husband, Frederic Von Anhalt, who is running for Governor of California because he claims only a German can clean up the mess of an Austrian.

Sources: Embedded and
Wikipedia: Zsa Zsa Gabor
IMDB: Bonanza: Maestro Hoss
Prince Frederic for Governor